The Radio

Cooking in the kitchen with the kids and the radio playing in the background:

Radio: Let's go to the phone lines and our first caller is Sam. Hello Sam...

Sammy: (Gasps) ARRGGGHHH!

Dad: (panicked) What? What's the matter?

Sammy is speechless. He just starts jabbing his finger at the radio.

Dad: What? What is it Sammy?

Sammy: Dad! I'm on the radio. What do I do?

Dad: What?

Sammy: (whispering) The radio dad! They just said I'm on it. I don't know what to say!

Emily: You're not the only Sam in the world, you know?

Sam: Quick (Starting to panic) Please dad! What shall I do?

Dad: Are you serious? Sam... I...

Emily: (sighs) Sam! It's. A. Different. Sam.

Sam: Really? Phew! I didn't know what I was gonna do then. That, was a close one.

Dad: You are being serious.

Sam: Things almost got crazy then dad. Ph-ew.

Dad: Almost?

A New Level of Quiet

Emily and Sam: Night time explorers.

Overheard last night, creeping down the stairs:

Emily:(loudly whispering) Shhhhhhhh, Sam. We've got to be quiet.
Sam: Okay
Emily: Really quiet Sam.
Sam:Okay
Emily: The quietest you've ever been
Sam: Okay
Emily: Quieter than a mouse
Sam: Okay
Emily: Quieter than a REALLY quiet mouse, Sam
Sam: Okay
Emily: On ice
Sam: On ice?
Emily: Yes Sam. A mouse on ice. Ice. That quiet.
Sam: Okay
Mum: BED!
Sam and Emily: Awwwwwwww.

Feet clomp back upsatirs.

Slow-Motion

Sammy in spy mode.

 Slow Motion has become a bit of a buzz word in our house when it comes to Sammy. We were at the pool a few days ago watching Emily's swimming lesson. Me (Dad), Archie and Sam were sat beside the pool, it was very busy, and the boys were getting restless:

Sam: Dad, can I go for a run?

Me: No Sam. Look how busy it is. Why don't we read your book?

Sam: But I'm a spy dad! I've got to do running. Just to the other end of the pool and back? Please?

Me: No Sam! There's too many people here. Besides it says no running. Look. See.

Sam: What about slow motion running? Spies run in slow motion on TV.

Archie starts to crawl in the other direction and I go to get him.

Sam: Please dad, please!

Me: Okay, okay. Super slow mo though, okay and don't run!

Sam: I promise. (talking to his wrist) Okay. Let's do this! Go. go .go.

I manage to retrieve Archie and turn back around to see Sammy set off on the slowest, slow motion run I have ever seen. Each step must take him about 6 or 7 seconds to complete and he has the whole pool and back to cover!

As he passes each of the adults sat down there is a beautiful moment where their expressions turn from confusion to comical and then sheer delight. Sammy is oblivious to everyone around him - just concentrating purely on his super slow-mo running; following his arms and legs with his eyes to ensure they are in sync, and his movement is perfect! Every now and again he raises his wrist to his mouth (in slow motion) and speaks:

Sam: Ruuuuuuunnnnnn. Coooonnntaaaaccct maaaaade...

It takes him almost 6 minutes to cover the whole distance and by the end of it every eye in the room is watching his epic run and every mouth is grinning from ear to ear. There is even a ripple of applause when he finishes. Sam is oblivious to it all though. I have never seen him so concentrated, controlled or as disciplined as he was on that run. And for Sammy, as soon as it was over it was as though nothing ever happened:

Me: (amazed) Sammy. That was incredible.

Sam: Thanks Dad. He got away though, I was too slow. Have you got any crisps?

Chewing Gum

Sammy runs into the room excitedly:

Sammy: Dad, dad. Dad. Um... You know that thing... I mean, what's that thing in your mouth?

Dad: In my mouth? Nothing.

Sammy: No. No.The thing in my mouth. What's it called? The one that blows up. Look watch.

Sammy sticks out his tongue.

Dad: Your tongue?

Sammy: Nooo. You know, it's pink and it goes pop. What's that called?

Dad: In your mouth?

Sammy: Yeah

Dad: In your mouth right now? Ummm. Tonsils?

Sammy: No.

Emily: (big sigh) He's talking about chewing gum dad, everybody knows that

Sammy: Yes! Chewing gum

Dad: But you haven't got any chewing gum in your mouth.

Sammy: Haven't I? What's this then?

Sticks out his tongue again.

Dad: Your tongue.

Sammy: Oh... (pause for thought) Oh! Dad. Imagine my tongue is chewing gum. Watch this...

Sammy slowly sticks out his tongue until it can go no further then shouts.

Sammy: POP! Woah! Did you see that Dad? Did you see the size of that bubble? I love chewing gum Dad. It's great. Do you want a go?

Dad: I... To be honest Sam, I'm not sure what's going on right now

The Confession

Sam decided to confess something to us just before his friend Poppy came to Emily's birthday party:

Dad: How buddy, how was school?

Sam: Oh, good thanks dad. Well... There is one thing... I... Well I...

Dad: It's okay buddy, you don't need to be embarrassed. What is it?

Sam: You know my friend Poppy? Well... (blushes) She's actually my girlfriend. And I... (whispers) I just asked her to marry me.

Sam bashes himself on the head and rolls his eyes.

Dad: Really? What did she say?

Sam: (giant grin) She said yes! But then I said I would only marry her if she agreed to live in a giant metal pumpkin! And do you know what dad - she said yes again! WOO HOO!

Dad:...good... I think...

Sam: If you don't ask you don't get - that's what you say, and I'm getting a giant metal pumpkin. This is such a great day.

The Game.

Sat with the kids in the front room.

Mum: Okay. What shall we do?

Emily: Play a game, play a game. I've got one I made up. And it's fine mum, it's a game that EVERYONE can play.

Mum: What do we do?

Emily: There's a level for everyone mum, so that everyone can play. So the first is the Girl's Level. In the girls level you have to climb down the stairs - it's a race see? - swim through the water before the SPIN-NING DEAAATH gets you, then jump over the banana skins. Then there's the Boy's Level: so you run through all the people - like this - jump across the pointy things, dodging the grabbers and swing across the water.

Mum: Oooh. Sounds fun. Let's give it a go then.

Emily: No wait, there's a Grandma Level too - anybody can play this game mum. So Grandma's have to have crutches and they cross the road, get through the front door and find the tele controller and sit down. Shall we play it?

Mozzarella.

Sam: Mum, what's for tea?

Mum: Pizza.

Sam: Aw man. I hate pizza.

Mum: No. You love pizza.

Sam: ....(thinking)...oh great! What's that?

Mum: Mozzarella.

Sam: Aw man, I hate mozzarella.

Mum: Nooo. You love mozzarella too. It goes on your pizza.

Sam: Mmmmm.(eyes bulge) I love mozzarella, I'm going to be a mozzarella eating machine. Mmmmm mmmm. Yeah, I always love mozzarella.

Sam goes to leave before turning around to check something.

Sam: It's chicken. Isn't it Mum? ?